My skin is ridiculously sensitive. I have a long list of ingredients I have to stay away from (most sulfates, any form of mineral oil, etc), so it’s awesome that I can find something that’s available in most stores that I can work with. I’ve done the oil cleansing method off and on, but it doesn’t leave my skin the way I want it. I also found this new line from Burt’s Bees called gud that has a lotion I’m trying. I’ll let you know how it goes. It smells so yummy! Oh, BTW, no one has paid me to mention their products in this post. I’m just excited about them and truly like them.

Ani DiFranco has a new album out! It’s really really good so far. I’m about half way through listening to it. I might do a track by track review, but I’m really loving it. You should really check it out. It’s fantastic.

I’m about halfway packed! I’m so excitedanxious about moving. We took a break after packing all my kitchen things. Looking around my room, I think I’m less than halfway packed. But the day’s not over yet! I should probably resume packing, since we’re going out tonight.

It’s a one bedroom in a really quaint (and pricey, but the apartment isn’t) part of the city. It has a gas (!!) stove, and the bedroom has TWO closets. Get this, one of the closets has a Built. In. Vanity. I called dibs, obviously. Chi would like it known that when she was making a video of the apartment to show me on her initial walk-through, she narrated it with “And this is your closet”.  So it’s not like I called dibs on something she really wanted. I am so excited, y’all!

Moving is always such a pain, and my last move wasn’t the best. I’ve been sick this week, so I haven’t done near as much packing as I would have liked, but now that I’m on the mend, I’ll be packing with a vengeance! I’d like to document the decorating of the new apartment here. I’ve also been trying to spruce up the blog’s decorating. I can’t think of a header, or images, or whatever, so I have it on a very minimalist design for right now. I’m pretty sure most (any?) of my readers use the RSS feed, so I’m not too worried right now. I’ll get it figured out eventually!

I’ve been kind of obsessed with knitting dishcloths. Okay, so I’ve only been working on one right now, but I have several others lined up in my Ravelry queue. One of my New Year’s Resolutions for 2012 was to knit more, so I’ve been doing just that. Dishcloths are quick and easy to knit, not to mention portable, so I’ll be doing a bunch of those. I was thinking of matching my dishcloths to whatever color scheme I go with in the kitchen, but it really doesn’t matter. Besides, none of the balls of cotton yarn I already have would really match any sort of scheme, so why start now?

I have so many projects I want to do this year! Ric Rac is having a rug-a-long that I want to join. I’ve been wanting to make a rag rug out of jeans for forever, but I don’t have enough jeans or fabric to start. I’ve kept a few pairs that are too big/worn to wear, but it’s not enough. I’m also hesitant to start since I’ll be on a massive job hunt once I’m in San Antonio. Maybe I can get a job at a craft shop and teach classes and go back to school? That’s a thought. So much thinking to do!

It’s odd. I call them “the roommates” as if they were my roommates. I suppose they technically are, with as much time as I spend over there. We just go from one house to the other, flitting like butterflies. I get all the benefits of living with a fantastic group of people with the ability to run away if I need some quiet Miss Eliza time. No matter how many bedrooms, a house of five twentysomethings and three cats will be noisy.

Ahem. Enough rambling. I have <s>four</s> a lot of days to catch up on, and I somehow managed to get approximately four hours of sleep last night, and am planning to wake up around 4:30 Tuesday morning to catch the peak of the Geminid meteor shower. Chi somehow managed to fall asleep around 8. I, obviously, have not.

December 10 – Wisdom Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? (Author: Susannah Conway)

I feel like a broken record. I’ve been talking a bit about the move and The Upheaval here as of late. However, I will say moving back to Texas has been the wisest decision I’ve made this year. I left a toxic situation, a climate I abhorred, yet managed to gain in friends, love, confidence, and the parts of me that I had hidden for so long. Granted, there was a lot of tears, a massive amount of heartache and pain, some growing, and leaving of very dear friends, but it was the best decision I’ve made in a very long time.

December 11 – 11 Things What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? (Author: Sam Davidson)

1. What-ifs. I let them run around wild in my head. I will focus on today, and the future, and not fret about the past. It is done.
2. Solitude. I have a tendency to hide when I’m upset, which makes me even more upset, which makes me want to hide. I will go out and be amongst people, especially when I am not doing well. That leads to…
3. Depression. It’s true, it is a battle. But I am well-armed, and I have people that have my back if I need it. I may not win the battle, but I will win the war.
4. Silence. Too long have I stayed silent when things upset me. Now, I will be upfront about something that bothers me, but nonconfrontational.
5. Stillness. I will dance, do yoga, get a bike and ride it, knit more. I do not do well when my body is still and my mind is overactive.
6. Self-hatred. See 3. Hatred may be too strong a word. Deprecation, then. Negative thoughts about myself will be banished as soon as they are thought.
7. Stagnation. I will continue to evolve, to grow, to blossom.
8. Self-denial. I will not deny myself experiences, things, feelings, because of my weight, or my timidness, or anything else that pops into my head. If I want to do something, and it harms no one, I shall do it. Who cares what anyone else thinks, anyway? They don’t matter. If they did matter in my life, then they would support me.
9. Anger. While I cannot stop anger completely, I can, however, realize when it is not necessary.
10. Drama. Lord knows I’ve had more than my share of drama this year.
11. Procrastination. I put things off. Everyone does. However, I have made it an artform. No more, I think.

December 12 – Body Integration. This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present? (Author: Patrick Reynolds)

Oh dear me, yes. However, I feel the answer is rather inappropriate for public consumption. Sorry, loves.

December 13 – Action. When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step? (Author: Scott Belsky)

Do. It. It doesn’t really get much more simple than that. Do what I should do. Do what I need to do. Act more, worry less.

December 14 – Appreciate. What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it? (Author: Victoria Klein)

Myself, plain and simple. I’m quite awesome, you know. So are you, as a matter of fact. You should appreciate yourself more, too. Take yourself out on a nice date, read a book, take a bubble bath.

The next one looks like it will take up a bit of spacetime, so I shall do that one later. There’s much more catching up to do, so expect me to be a bit more talkative than I have been.

December 6 – Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)

A sock! From yarn! I need to finish making the other sock. I also have an idea to use some of the fantastic old lady jewelry and yarn I have floating around here, as well as come into some money, but the thoughts slip my brain before I can sit down to do it. I get distracted by something shiny and away I go. Typical.

December 7 – Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011? (Author: Cali Harris)

Very very recently, the church we have been attending. We’ve been only a scant handful of times but we are recognized by other church-goers. We both really enjoy the church, both people and service, so far. I want to get more involved with the church in 2011, as well as go more often. I like the fact that they don’t subscribe to any one particular brand of religious dogma, no one bats an eye at Chi and I holding hands before, during, or after service, and everyone has been incredibly nice and friendly so far. Plus, there are cookies and snacky foods after service, and a pot luck lunch the first Sunday of every month. I mean, really, can you go wrong?

December 8 – Beautifully Different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful. (Author: Karen Walrond)

I’ve been told that I have an innocence about me, a girlishness that I can’t shake. I can see that. I suppose my love of cute things doesn’t hurt that at all. I don’t want to be jaded. I don’t want to not get excited over the butterfly that floats by or the cloud that looks like an elephant playing the trombone or how the lights look at night when you’re going over the Harbor Bridge and all the city is lit up and lies before you and anything is possible. I want life to surprise me, I want to find joy in the little things. I am not my job, I am not my credit store, I am not the things I own. I am a perpetual girl, in love with life and the world and my girl and everything is magical.

December 9 – Party Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans. (Author: Shauna Reid)

The first time I went to Austin with Chi, we were planning to leave early on Sunday. We had brunch at this fantastic little restaurant with her friend (and now my friend!) Eleigh. If you’re ever in Austin, go to the Blue Dahlia Bistro. But I digress. Eleigh knew of this circus performing practice thing at one of the parks, and asked if we wanted to go. Of course we did! It was underneath this huge old tree. There were trampolines, and hula hoops, and poi spinners, and a couple of guys DJing, and people were dressed up in costumes (or maybe they really dressed like that). A bit later on, there were acrobatics and balancing acts and people twirling in silk from the tree branch. It was an amazing array of colour and sound and everyone was happy and having a good time. I was content laying against Chi, her hat on my head, her hands in mine watching the crowd and swaying to the music. We were in our own little world of first-vocalization-of-I-love-yous inside a little world of happy people having fun and doing what they love to do and all around us there was such love that I can feel the same contented fuzzy buzzy feeling settling in now. My shoes are to the side and my toes are scrunched in the grass and life is good.

December 1 – One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)

Change.  I’ve gone from Arizona desert to Texas coast, I’ve gone from married to a man to dating a woman, I’ve regained the bits of me that I lost and lost the bits of me that I didn’t want. 2010 has been a year of big changes, and I’ve weathered them all rather well, I’d say. Life is good. I feel stable and secure and more me than I have in quite some time. 2011 will be about peace. I want to come to peace with the hurt and pain and chaos of 2010, and before then as well.

December 2 – Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it? (Author: Leo Babauta)

Slacking around on the internet, definitely. But the real question is, do I want to? Yes, and no. Yes, because I’d like to get more writing done, but no because I’m so busy lately that it lets my brain settle and be quiet for a bit. So hmm.

December 3 – Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)

It’s dark, so dark you can feel the darkness pressing down on you like a heavy blanket. The only noises are the sound of your breath and the cicadas singing. Her hand is in mine and our faces are pointed skyward and all I can see is the deep dark indigoblue of the sky and the millions of stars and the wispy bands of the Milky Way streaking across the sky and she pulls me to her, wraps her arms around me and I lean my head down and we kiss. And then we hear something in the grass and we’re not sure if it’s a deer or a javelina or who knows what so we climb back into the truck and turn on the engine, giggling madly about what if it’s a javelina and it decides to attack the truck.

December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)

It’s no so much cultivating a sense of wonder, it’s keeping the one I already have. The littlest things amaze me, like when the water is so still the city lights reflect on it perfectly, or when the moon is out in the middle of the day, or that one cloud that looks photoshopped but you’re looking out the car window, so it has to be real. I know there are logical, scientific explanations for all of these, but they just tickle the “magic” center of my brain.

December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)

My exhusband. He wanted to go, but I fought until I could fight no more. And then I gave up. I suppose he was more tenacious than I, but I’m glad I did. There is no sense being with someone that does not want you, and besides that, it was not a good situation anyway. I cannot say I have completely let go of him, for he still manages to creep into my thoughts when I’m not looking, to prove he has left a mark on me, on my soul, that will never go away. As quickly as he comes in, I shove him out of my mind because I will not let myself be hurt like that again, nor be hurt by him again.

On that note, I shall end my ketchups for now. At least on this entry. I fear it’s getting a bit long in the tooth.

There are seasons here! While they aren’t as vivid and extroverted as the seasons elsewhere, they do exist. Summer slowly melts into fall to the point where one morning, you step outside and notice that it’s a little chilly and you could get away with wearing a hoodie. The days are still lovely and warm and breezy and you could sneak away to the beach if you chose to, but the mornings and evenings are just autumnal enough to make you start thinking of soup and hot tea and woolen socks and pulling the afghans from the closet. I’m already wanting a butternut squash soup and grilled cheese sandwich and a mug of tea.

The sky here has been impossibly clear lately. It still takes my breath away to look up and see just how many stars I couldn’t see in Phoenix. The view is even more astounding when Chi takes me to visit her eldest sister on her acreage in a town where the nearest “city” has a population just barely inside the realm of four digits. There is nothing more spectacular than looking up and seeing a sky so black it’s purple with bands of the Milky Way stretched across it and you can’t point out constellations because there are so many stars out there. It reminds me how lucky I am to be alive, and this little second is all I have and that I’d better not squander it on what-ifs and if-onlys. Even remembering what it looks like out there has that effect on me.

Carl Sagan calls us “starstuff contemplating the stars”, and that is something that really resonates with me. It’s something I can cling to when life seems to be a bit too much to handle. I am made from the same things stars are. How can that not fill you with wonder and amazement and awe?

I have a job now. It is more office work, which I have never thought suited me.  I’ve always felt I should be doing something else, something less modern, if that makes sense. It’s my dream to have a small little farm with some chickens, a garden, some milk goats, and a few sheep. I’d love to make a living by my own two hands and work the land and eat what I grow. Unfortunately, that takes money now-a-days, and that is one thing I am not abundant in.

I’ve never wanted a lot of money. Personally, money strikes me as a little silly. I can understand its importance in today’s society, but I just can’t comprehend how little pieces of paper and metal can be worth so much. I wish money weren’t so important and necessary to live. As long as I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food in my belly, and the girl I love in my bed, I’ll be as happy as a clam.

Yes, there has been another change.  I have a girlfriend, Chi, and we are crazy about each other. I never intended to find someone so close to The Upheaval. I managed to stumble across her and we were nearly instantly smitten. It has been a wonderous third of a year, and I hope we have many more together.

In just a scant two weeks, my maternal grandmother, Nanny, will be moving in. It will be rather interesting to have three generations of my family living under the same roof. We are all very strong willed, yet nurturing, women. I have a feeling that while I will love it, I will also frequently escape to the Chihouse for some breathing space.

I have been on a crafting spree lately. I am over halfway finished with a bamboo drop stitch scarf and halfway finished with a granny square afghan that has been back burnered until the weather cools some. I also owe Smith an afghan, so that will become my at home project. Once the scarf is finished, I will begin a wonderfully complex cabled hat for Chi, on her request. So much to do!

I promise, my dearests, that I shall not neglect you for such a spell again!

Go now, and live.

Experience. Dream. Risk. Close your eyes and jump. Enjoy the freefall. Choose exhilaration over comfort. Choose magic over predictability. Choose potential over safety. Wake up to the magic of everyday life. Make friends with your intuition. Trust your gut. Discover the beauty of uncertainty. Know yourself fully before you make promises to another. Make millions of mistakes so that you will know how to choose what you really need. Know when to hold on and when to let go. Love hard and often and without reservation. Seek knowledge. Open yourself to possibility. Keep your heart open, your head high and your spirit free. Embrace your darkness along with your light. Be wrong every once and a while, and don’t be afraid to admit it. Awaken to the brilliance in ordinary moments. Tell the truth about yourself no matter what the cost. Own your reality without apology. See goodness in the world. Be Bold. Be Fierce. Be Grateful. Be Wild, Crazy and Gloriously Free. Be You.

Go now, and live.

♥ Handmade soap – My skin is crazy sensitive, and there are many things that do not make it happy. Thankfully, handmade soap makes it happy! It’s amazing the variety of scents you can get, from knock-offs of famous perfumes to soaps scented with simple essential oils. I have a drawer full of soaps scented with lavender + x essential oil. The bar in my shower is lavender and lemon, and it smells delightful. A bar of soap will last me longer than bottles of showergel would, and I even use the soap to shave with, and to wash my hair. If you are going to use soap to wash your hair, however, you need to do an acidic rinse. My current fave is 2 tbs Bragg’s apple cider vinegar, 2 tbs honey (though I prefer to eat raw, I use regular honey from the store for this), 20 drops lavender essential oil (why yes, I am a lavender fiend!), and just under 4 cups water. The big bottles of Bragg’s will hold this mixture perfectly, so I use an empty one. One bottle will last me about 3 washing. I wash my hair about every other day and only if I’m going out on the weekends, so it’s also very cost effective. I highly recommend S. M. Fildes! I ordered two bars of soap, both containing lavender, and she sent along two half-size samples in two different lavender combinations. They lather beautifully and have a great scent.

♥ Baking bread – I made my first loaf of bread ever, today. I had some buttermilk left over from a ranch dressing I made, and this recipe was one of the top results when I googled something involving leftover buttermilk. I haven’t had a slice yet, as it is cooling, but man oh man, I love the smell of fresh bread. I want to eventually get a local sourdough starter going, and our bread instead of buying it at the store.

♥ Bees – I just finished reading The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. The Feb/March 09 issue of MaryJane’s Farm was all about bees and honey. Bees are fascinating! I want to have a beehive in my backyard when Husbean and I get a house. Not only would we have all the honey we could ever want, but we’d also have great pollinators for the garden I want to have as well.

January of this year, my brother in law got married to his awesome girlfriend, now wife. Since they live in Las Vegas, they had a Las Vegas wedding, complete with Elvis. The reception was held at Star Trek the Experience. When I was growing up, one of the few things my father and I could agree on was a love of science fiction. Our big Thing was watching Star Trek together. When news of Star Trek the Experience was released, my father said he would take me. Unfortunately, that never happened, as he passed away. However, since we were staying at the Hilton, Husbean took me to see it.

It. Was. Amazing. I kept tearing up the entire time, but not from sadness. It was everything I had hoped it would be. I only wish my father had been there to see it with me.